Thank you (and a lovely 'fuck you')

 I don't believe in consequences. I might not even believe you read that shit that day. What fucked me up is that I checked on you the very next day. And you did it. You switched the photo. That might have not been something you did 'cause you read this. 'Cause if am being honest, I know you don't read this blog anymore. But let me be clear: Thank you even if you changed it. I know I am extremely pathetic and worthless. Kind of trashy by me but I felt that peace invading my veins. In a moment where I am pleading for a wind of peace, it might have been that breeze I needed.

And (I AM SORRY) fuck you girl. Fuck me too. I'm sorry for typing and revisiting all this shit again. But it just fucked me up the fact that "he" has a baby. It fucked me up to know (i wasn't seeking for this, people just told me) that you brought him to the same places we've visited before (and actually I saw something insanely identical as the place WE VISITED!). I THOUGHT YOU'D CHANGE.

I GUESS I CAN'T BLAME NO ONE FOR GOING BACK TO WHEREVER THEY WERE HAPPY.

And I am not able to push someone to think as I do. So there's that.

And I can't blame on you wishing it was just all better.

I've been griefing and am not holding on anymore. I guess to let it all out helps me out relieving a bit. I'm sorry if I harmed or if I made you doubt anything (if you ever read this). I'll be honest: I got jealous for a bit today. And I chewed it out all day. But now it feels far enough... Like, am starting to forget some names of your family members and certain numbers.

I love the fact that you're fading away from my mind. It reads like a depressing phrase but, it's just the fact. Gotta give it a little more time. If it's years then so be it. It's been a year and wounds are starting to heal.

If I have to cry to feel a little bit better the next weeks... I'll keep crying until I feel completely better.

Thank you.

J