I just read my mind. I saw an expiration date that showed the last time I could use it. Reality strikes hard every day. How is it finishing so soon? I absolutely have no time to waste. Can't believe that I never realized anything before... Sometimes I wonder if it could've been better. 'Cause of course that's different from what it is today. I guess I haven't enjoyed life so much in the past ten months. So maybe that's why I get so happy with such little things now. Even waking up feels great.
I found myself a little bit lesser unfriendly, Y'ALL KNOW? Since I have to travel every two or three weeks, my social skills have helped me reaching mountain summits. Makes me think that I haven't been that high in my life before.
At this same point in time, last year, I wasn't sure about making good decisions in my life. And I was a true love believer. I remember thinking about "having it all". But it's that same comfort zone that dragged me into numbness, being unconcerned about my "All". It was that non-stop weed-smoking habit that took me from what I thought was "essential" to an eternal indifferent status.
That old me. That fourteen year streak is FUCKING over. It's like, there's no turn back to what I was. But am thinking that I wanna hug that fucker for doing what he actually did. I would love to find myself in the past and tell myself "don't fucking stop". My ambitions remain in a safe place. My thoughts and memories from what I've lived are locked in my mind. I would tell myself "the efforts you're making are the ones that will build the most perfect patience against the world. It's a motherfucking painful road. But at the end of it, you'll find yourself strong. There's shit that will come up meanwhile you're planning everything. Give yourself a moment to think about it. You'll understand what am talking about".
That, ladies and gentlemen, is what I like to call:
A D A P T A B I L I T Y.
And is not an easy one. To get to it you need to be at your discomfort zone. Far from your family. Far from what you love. You must learn how to live alone (for months).
'Cause the weaker me is about to expire. 'Cause my fears are about to vanish. 'Cause new challenges and new fears will take place. New people, new everything. More mountains, more walking, more trails, MORE ME.
And I am thankful for the ones I've lost. Thanks for everything. Makes me cry to think about how much people I've lost on this road. It's not a fucking easy one man. I MISS YOU ALL BUT I JUST NEED TO FORGET THE PAIN FOR ME TO KEEP GROWING UP.
Expiration date: 04/05/25.
Time: 23:59:59.
Do not open until expiration date.
J