OUTDATED

 I just read my mind. I saw an expiration date that showed the last time I could use it. Reality strikes hard every day. How is it finishing so soon? I absolutely have no time to waste. Can't believe that I never realized anything before... Sometimes I wonder if it could've been better. 'Cause of course that's different from what it is today. I guess I haven't enjoyed life so much in the past ten months. So maybe that's why I get so happy with such little things now. Even waking up feels great. 

I found myself a little bit lesser unfriendly, Y'ALL KNOW? Since I have to travel every two or three weeks, my social skills have helped me reaching mountain summits. Makes me think that I haven't been that high in my life before.

At this same point in time, last year, I wasn't sure about making good decisions in my life. And I was a true love believer. I remember thinking about "having it all". But it's that same comfort zone that dragged me into numbness, being unconcerned about my "All". It was that non-stop weed-smoking habit that took me from what I thought was "essential" to an eternal indifferent status.

That old me. That fourteen year streak is FUCKING over. It's like, there's no turn back to what I was. But am thinking that I wanna hug that fucker for doing what he actually did. I would love to find myself in the past and tell myself "don't fucking stop". My ambitions remain in a safe place. My thoughts and memories from what I've lived are locked in my mind. I would tell myself "the efforts you're making are the ones that will build the most perfect patience against the world. It's a motherfucking painful road. But at the end of it, you'll find yourself strong. There's shit that will come up meanwhile you're planning everything. Give yourself a moment to think about it. You'll understand what am talking about".

That, ladies and gentlemen, is what I like to call:

A D A P T A B I L I T Y.

And is not an easy one. To get to it you need to be at your discomfort zone. Far from your family. Far from what you love. You must learn how to live alone (for months).

'Cause the weaker me is about to expire. 'Cause my fears are about to vanish. 'Cause new challenges and new fears will take place. New people, new everything. More mountains, more walking, more trails, MORE ME.

And I am thankful for the ones I've lost. Thanks for everything. Makes me cry to think about how much people I've lost on this road. It's not a fucking easy one man. I MISS YOU ALL BUT I JUST NEED TO FORGET THE PAIN FOR ME TO KEEP GROWING UP. 

Expiration date: 04/05/25.
Time: 23:59:59.
Do not open until expiration date.

J

Hasta aquí

 Y nada más cherie
completo me di por vencido
hasta arriba del cerro, aburrido,
miré a Santiago abajo mío
fijo entre mis cejas
que dicotomía más compleja,
no aguanto más, siempre recuerda,
que bonito fue reír y compartir,
mas yo no quiero recibir
más vuelos de tus recuerdos aquí,
aterrizando y atravesando tormentas sin fin.

Salte de una vez,
y salta para siempre,
NO VUELVAS NUNCA MÁS,
ya tuve suficiente
de mi mismo, y de mi siempre
perdonándolo todo
sin tenerme presente.

Hasta aquí y para siempre
salte de mi frente y horizonte,
tus aromas, los paisajes,
los disfraces, el desenlace,
salte por favor,
relevo del ultraje.

Me despido eternamente porque el daño continúa
"lo siento" por última vez que te escribo patúa.
Es que te rondai' por aquí cuando no te necesito,
voy a enterrar la llave en un lugar maldito.

Donde ni conjuros ni hechizos ni calvarios
podrán llegar nuevamente.
Ni un puto pelo en mi piso a diario
cuando entiendo cómo se siente.

Ni cuando trabaje
Ni cuando nos llevemos bien
Ni cuando haga diez cambios
Ni cuando tenga cien
Ni cuando salga la Luna
Ni cuando lea "Ven".

Hasta siempre nena
lo puedo escribir:
Ahora sí, por fin
HASTA AQUÍ.

J
Pude llegar donde estoy sin ti.
Todo siempre estuvo dentro de nosotros.
Mucho éxito te deseo.
Hoy te dejo de extrañar.